Mood:
Decent. I was very tired, but I had things laid out for me. I didn’t have to go to bed as late as I did, but I wanted a few minutes to read and screw around by myself. I think there’s a balance to reach there: having time for me things versus having time for sleep. Which is also technically a me thing. And maybe if I did more of it, I wouldn’t need so much me time?
Breakfast:
Dutch. I did some research over the weekend on protein recipes for the Creami. I am considering putting one together if I can find room in the freezer for it. I was not hungry, I didn’t finish it.
Lunch:
I was actually hungry! Had a frozen pot pie. Was satisfied afterwards… but wanted more. When I think about what was going on, I was relieved that I had some time sensitive stuff done. I think I was trying to reward myself. But here’s the deal, Self. You aren’t a dog, you don’t need rewards.
Snack:
TOTALLY unnecessary. 4 Turkey sticks. 4 slices of cheese. A bag of mini oreos. And a bag of chex mix. So stupid. I wasn’t hungry. Ate this at work in the afternoon. What was the thought: I just wanted food. I was physically satisfied after lunch, but I wanted *more*.
Trying to look back, since I didn’t parse this out at the time (not to *should* on myself but it would have been helpful had I thought in this moment to say “hey, why do I want more food, and what food is it I *really* want”)… When I think through all the little dramas that went on today I still have no idea if it was one or just the confluence of crappola:
- I had been stressed about getting in and getting the time sensitive stuff done at work (feeling: glad to be out from under it, but also concerned about what everyone else needed to do next and then what I would need to do after that)
- Someone who can be critical in a condescending manner approached myself and a coworker, and there was a moment I thought Mrs. Critical was going to spew awfulness so I was bracing for a verbal whipping, but she backed off (feeling: the fight or flight adrenaline rush)
- getting groceries ordered (feeling: $ stress, mom-housework stress)
- some schedule/calendar issues that came up (feeling: out of control–Husband maybe scheduled a family thing at an awkward moment and I’ll have to speak to boss about it)
- some extra curricular stuff that came up (feeling: disorganized, annoyed).
- I had missed some days journaling and today should have been a chat with a mentor about what I had journaled about, so I felt like I didn’t have good info for us to work off of (feeling: caught red-handed in procrastination, embarrassed even though she was very cool about it
Dinner:
Also Totally unnecessary. Was not hungry. Initially I was going to have a slice of bacon (I don’t know why, but it was out on the counter at some point, someone else had pulled it out). Had that. Then, I did have some pork tenderloin and salad. And some strawberries. I did not clean my plate though. What was the thought: everyone else gets to eat. Well, Self, here’s the deal: not everyone had absurd snacks this afternoon, so this isn’t much of a justification.
Wins:
There were a handful.
- Had my clothes laid out and ready to go – waking up knowing I don’t have my act together usually leads to a bad mood, a bad morning, and probably increased snooze button hitting
- Had breakfasts ready for kids – yay belvita bars
- Did not have my meds laid out, but I got the weekly dispenser out and did them while I was taking this morning’s. I was tempted to not take them since I didn’t have them ready.
- Had Youngest’s clothes mostly located
- Had Oldest already showered and clean.
- Had meals planned, and groceries ready to order, and then ordered them. Usually coming back from a weekend away I just let Monday be a trainwreck.
- Was hungry for lunch.
- Spoke with Pharmacy about compounded GLP-1. Expensive, but going to try for a month.
- Had a lunch in the freezer at work and some things in the fridge at work, so when Husband came past and took my car it wasn’t a huge bummer.
- Not cleaning my plate at dinner.
- I journaled!